Mercenaries Boot Camp
by Phoenix-KaZ
Summary: Based on Mercenaries 3D. What do our favorite Resident Evil characters do in between numbered games? Join a Mercenaries compound and train their butts off! This fic follows the mercenaries' adventures... New title! Rated 'T' for the usual violence!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Saw a couple of Mercenaries-based stories, but they didn't have much background. (C'mon people, be original.) SO I came up with this little idea and stuck the mercenaries in there! Who knows what will happen between fighting sessions?**

**This story is currently in the testing stages. We'll see how many people like it and I might continue! I'v got the first couple chapters outlined, just in case...  
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**Just as a notice: I might change the title of this fic around a few times until I'm happy. I like the title right now, though. Shortish chapter, since this is the beginning. But the next ones will be longer and more interesting!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or the characters of Resident Evil. Those belong to Capcom.  
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(Unknown Location)

"It seems Capcom has gotten into another lull with its games again," a voice stated in the darkness, "How about we hold another Mercenaries event?"

"Sounds like a plan?" a second voice replied, "Who will be the contenders?"

"Send invitations to the names on this list." An exchange of paper could be heard in the darkness. "We'll do background checks later."

"So, a handful of old favorites, the regulars, and another handful that haven't renewed their contracts with Capcom for the past few years."

"Pretty much," the first voice agreed.

". . . . Who's judging these games?"

"We'll leave that choice to the author. In the meantime, you deliver those invitations; I'll stick this note on the door and clean this dump a bit before our guests arrive."

By the next morning, invitations were sent out, and people began to show up at the compound.

The first person to arrive was Chris Redfield. He took a look at the sign posted on the tinted glass doors and raised an eyebrow. The sign read, "Welcome Mercenaries! All guests must sign the truce waiver before the door will let you in. Drop of all your weapons in the metal locker; you will not need them. Once you enter, pick one of the unlocked rooms, go inside, lock it, and remain in there until you are called. This is not a trap. Really, it isn't." Chris reconsidered his choice to come to the deserted compound in the middle of nowhere, shrugged, and signed the truce waiver. A telltale click told the Redfield that the main door had unlocked, and he ventured inside, picking one of the rooms in the middle of the hallway.

Wesker arrived next. After serious scrutiny, the tyrant signed the contract and was allowed to enter. Once inside, Wesker picked the room at the far end of the hallway; he had bothered to do a little research and found that particular room was the closest to the bathrooms. The tyrant made himself comfortable as possible in his small room and waited.

Jill showed up shortly after Wesker. She too displayed confusion at the strange sign, but entered the compound anyway.

Similar reactions were experienced by Claire Redfield, Barry Burton, HUNK, and Rebecca Chambers; the only one who wasn't the least bit skeptical was Jack Krauser. Let's see what he's up to.

(Interview time!)

Krauser sat stiffly on the bed provided in the room. "I'm not scared of an abandoned building," the scarred mercenary replied into the camera that was pointed at him, "I've faced worse conditions. If anything thinks they can catch Jack Krauser with his pants down, they are sorely mistaken. I'll fight my way out of here if I have to."

(Main Story)

Five minutes after Krauser's arrival, a short message crackled over the intercom. "Right, everyone's here," the voice said, "Please exit your rooms and report to the waiting zone." All at once, the doors of each dorm opened and their inhabitants stepped out. Upon seeing each other, their faces were met with surprise except for Wesker.

"Well, well," Wesker stated, "If it isn't the survivors."

"Wesker!" Chris and Jill exclaimed at the same time. Barry and Chris moved to pin him to the wall when the intercom returned to life.

"Hey! You all signed the truce! If you can't honor it, we're sending you home!" the voice warned, "Report to the waiting room!"

Chris and Barry retreated away from Wesker. Claire and Jill exchanged a doubtful look between them, still harboring their own suspicions of Wesker.

"That's better. Krauser," Wesker acknowledged, receiving a nod in return, "HUNK." Another nod. Wesker gestured to the set of double doors that had previously been closed. "Shall we?"

Each of the survivors stood still before passing through the double doors into a brightly lit room. Jill, who found herself next to a worried looking Rebecca, spoke to her. "Don't worry," the older woman reassured, "Wesker is not in charge here. Whoever's behind that intercom is."

"Yeah, but who's behind the intercom?" Claire added as she followed her equally confused comrades.

The room the mercenaries had entered resembled the waiting area of a DMV. No color on the walls, a white tiled floor, several black benches, a TV set mounted in the corner, a couple of potted plants, and even more doors that led who knows where. "Good. Now stand in a straight line to receive further instructions," the voice commanded over the intercom. Everyone obeyed. "Alright, I suppose you're wondering why you are here?"

"Of course we want to know!" Claire objected, beginning to list reasons with her fingers, "You only brought us to the middle of nowhere, took away our weapons, and trapped us with our worst enemies!"

"Must you be so critical, dear heart?" Wesker complained, smoothing his glossy hair back.

"Leave her out of this Wesker!" Chris threatened.

"Or what?" the tyrant responded, pushing the older Redfield's nerves.

The intercom voice cleared its throat, regaining the attention of the mercenaries. "You've been invited here because you require training," the voice stated, "I mean, you can't just go between game installments without practicing. Capcom may call you back for another outbreak at any time. That's what this mercenary compound was set up for. To keep your skills sharp."

"So how does this 'training' work?" Jill asked curiously, adjusting her BSAA cap.

"Here's how it works: You will be fighting enemies as usual. However, your goal is to rack up the highest score possible," the mystery voice informed, "You will also be living here in your dormitories during your stay. This compound will provide anything you need, within reason."

"And what's the point of getting the highest score?" Krauser asked, arms folded over his chest in an attempt to hide his nervousness. He did not like being without his trusty knife.

"The scores are based on your performance in the field and determined by a panel of judges," the voice replied, "It will be up to their judgment to grade your accomplishments."

"Anything else?" Barry asked.

"I'll leave the rest to the judges to explain," the mystery voice said before silencing the intercom. One of the doors opened, and everyone's head turned to see the figure of Leon step through. "Looks like everyone made it without murdering each other," he said sarcastically as he stopped in front of the line.

"What's going on here Leon?" Chris asked, "We want some answers."

Leon looked over at Chris and shrugged. "I'm just here as a judge. You were all invited here to train until Capcom renews your contracts. From the looks of it, everyone accepted, so here we are," Leon replied, "Except, I'm not the only judge."

**AN: So there we have it! I'm still trying to find subplots for this story, so feel free to suggest potential subplots in a review! Thankies!  
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**If anyone is wondering, I am still working ****on my other stories! I haven't abandoned those!**

**Anyway, Review/Favorite/Subscribe****! I could always use more followers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Anyone else care to suggest subplots? I got a few lined up, but I need something to keep you guys interested, otherwise each chapter is going to get pretty boring and repetitive with nothing going on in the sidelines. **

**If anyone is interested in what's going on in my personal life, I got my IB English exam out of the way! Now I can sit back, write, and relax while everyone else has their panic attacks! I am so glad I decided to get it over with early! ^_^ I think I did well, but I won't find out until much later.  
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**Anyway, enjoy the story!**

_Previously . . . . . _

_ "What's going on here Leon?" Chris asked, "We want some answers."_

_ Leon looked over at Chris and shrugged. "I'm just here as a judge. You were all invited here to train until Capcom renews your contracts. From the looks of it, everyone accepted, so here we are," Leon replied, "Except, I'm not the only judge."_

Rebecca's eyes widened at the news. "Wait, what?" she asked.

"There's always more than one judge for these," a second voice replied before its owner stepped out behind Leon. "It wouldn't be fair if there was only one,"

"Ada?" Claire reacted with a quizzical look, "You're here too?"

"I'm here," the red-clad femme fatale replied as she took her place next to the government agent, "Along with some others."

Wesker raised a blonde eyebrow in curiosity. "Others?" he repeated.

"Of course," Excella's accented voice replied as she emerged from the same doorway Leon had come through, "You can't have two judges for an event like this." She stopped beside the agent. The executive looked around the room as her expression changed from content to slightly annoyed. "Where is Irving? He was supposed to be here," she stated, glaring at everybody but Wesker like they were at fault.

A second later, Irving's gangly figure appeared in the doorway on the opposite side of the room, carrying a sandwich. "I'm over here, Excella," the B.O.W dealer replied, catching the attention of the contestants as he walked out of what was presumably the compound's kitchen, "Just had to get some lunch. I was starving in that booth."

"Let me guess," Krauser said, shooting a dirty look at Irving, "He's one of the judges too?"

Leon nodded. "Exactly," the agent replied, "We're going to be grading your performances."

"It was just going to be these three," Ada explained, "The writer brought me in because it would be fairer if there was an equal amount of men and women, from Resident Evil 4 and 5, a set of 'bad guys', and a set of 'good guys'. "

Rebecca spoke up after a long period of silence. "What are the rules?" the medic asked.

"Good question," Leon replied, "You've already signed the truce. The stage and participants are selected at random by the judges every round. At the end of each round, we grade your performances."

"If your score is the worst," Excella added, sizing up the challengers one by one, "You will be assigned a penalty in the form of janitorial maintenance. We can't have this compound turn into a pigsty while we are here."

"What about the person who scores the highest?" Claire asked, hands on her hips as she glared back at the Gionne; the younger Redfield sibling did not like this woman at all. "Do they get a reward?"

"There ain't a reward, girlie," Irving started, which irritated Claire's nerves even more, "But there's no rule against betting pools in this tournament!" The mercenaries exchanged curious looks between each other in confusion. "Okay!" Irving declared, taking a bite out of his sandwich, "Time for da nickel tour!" The sleazy man turned around and gestured to the tiled room in front of him. "Dis is the kitchen. Yer all gonna be sharing this and a set of bathrooms! If ya want anything from outside, write it on da list! We'll send someone to get it!" Irving turned back to the mercenaries. "Youse already picked out yer dormitories; that's where you'll be sleepin'." Irving leaned to the side to make eye contact with the other judges. "Am I forgetting anything?" he asked.

"All your weapons have been transferred to the armory, which lies beyond this door," Leon added, "You may only enter if you have been selected to fight in one of the rounds. Inside the armory lies the elevator that will transport you to the chosen location of your round."

"Now for legal purposes," Excella added, "we have a recovery wing beyond the kitchen, just in case anyone hurts themselves during a mission." The Tricell executive turned to her fellow judges, "I believe that is everything."

Ada gave the Italian woman a begrudging nod before turning back to the contestants. "You are now welcome to wander around the compound. I recommend using this time to get acclimated to your new surroundings; you will be here for a while," the spy stated, "However, the armory will remain locked until further notice. Don't even try to pick the locks, Valentine. Good night."

The judges retreated into the armory, discouraging the recruits from entering with the telltale click of a door's lock slipping into place. Not feeling up to arguing with each other, the mercenaries separated on to their own paths. Some of them decided to retire early to their dormitories, while others made the choice to explore the complex a little. Let's see what Chris is thinking!

(Interview Session: Chris Redfield)

Chris had decided to retire early, since Wesker had chosen to wander around the complex for a little while. "Something about this place does not sit right, but if Capcom approves of this," Chris stated to the video camera, "I won't pass up training. However, I am concerned with the close proximity of Wesker and his men. Thankfully, the majority of participants are not on his side. These 'games' are going to be very interesting in the near future."

**AN: Yeah, I know. Another short chapter. But they will get longer! And the fourth wall is going to be broken** **quite a bit. Anyway, you all know the drill, Review/Favorite/Alert! Preferably all three!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Because I haven't posted anything for this in a while, have a chapter! Don't expect the next chapters to appear quickly_,_****though! I got kinda bored playing Mercenaries 3D, so I'm taking a break from that to play RE:Revelations and to read _The Hunger _****_Games._**** So yeah. Have fun with this.  
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_Previously . . . _

"_Something about this place does not sit right, but if Capcom approves of this," Chris stated to the video camera, "I won't pass up training. However, I am concerned with the close proximity of Wesker and his men. Thankfully, the majority of participants are not on his side. These 'games' are going to be very interesting in the near future."_

Leon, Ada, Excella, and Irving sat at a long table in the judges' booth, discussing what to do next. "Everyone seems to be settling in," the government agent stated, "Before we begin, we're going to be interviewing the contestants for their background information."

"Lemme guess," Irving said, "This is going to apply to their scores?"

"Exactly," Ada replied, "We'll know what sort of standards we're dealing with. Not to mention providing information to our viewers at home."

"What viewers?" Excella asked with a suspicious tone in her voice.

Ada turned to the Tricell executive. "Capcom never told you about the fourth wall didn't they?" Excella was silent. "I didn't think so."

Leon leaned over a list of the contestant's names. "Who should we call first?" he asked.

"Why don't we split 'em up and each of us does two?" Irving suggested.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Ada agreed, "Let's pull from a lottery."

_Interview #1: Chris Redfield & Ada Wong_

The spy and the agent sat in a dimly lit room, powered by a solitary light bulb on the ceiling. The duo sat in old metal folding chairs facing each other, with a simple, polished, dogwood desk between them. Ada would rather be in a plush, well-furnished office, but she would have to make do with the storage room that Irving had discovered.

"So, Mr. Redfield," Ada spoke to the muscle-bound agent in the chair across from her, "It seems like you have quite the track record. How long have you been a mercenary?"

"My mercenaries career started fairly recently, in Africa to be precise," Chris responded hunched over in the chair that barely fit him, "I've done more game installments than mini-games."

Ada flipped through the file in front of her. "You've participated in the original game, had a minor part in CODE: Veronica, and recently Resident Evil 5 as well. There was also Revelations, a mini-game, and one movie deal. Am I right?" she asked.

"Yes," Chris replied.

Ada changed her track. "How do you think you'll do in this tournament?"

"I hope to do well and kill plenty of enemies," the BSAA agent answered.

Ada switched topics again. "And how do you feel about Claire participating in this challenge?"

Chris inhaled, making his back muscles swell to almost double their size. "I was surprised to see her here," he replied, "I'm not sure how I feel about her doing this, but there's no point in trying to stop her now."

Ada jotted down some notes in a neat cursive onto a notepad. "I see," the femme fatale said, "I have to ask you one more question, so the results can be determined cleanly: Are you taking any form of performance enhancing drugs or steroids?"

Chris scoffed. "You really have to ask me that?"

"Judges have to ask if they suspect any foul play," Ada explained. "I'll ask again: Are you taking steroids? I can bring in a lie detector if you continue dodging the question, Mr. Redfield."

Chris shrugged his giant shoulders. Might as well come clean. "I did take some steroids to bulk up for RE5; the producers said it would help sales," Chris answered, "I've been clean since then."

Ada made some more notes. "Very well," she said, looking up at Chris Redfield, "I believe that's all I need to know about you. I humbly wish you the best of luck. You may go."

_Interview #2: Jill Valentine – Ada_

As Chris left the room, Ada checked the schedule for her next interviewee. Her next guest would be Jill Valentine, the second core character of the Resident Evil Franchise. "Really?" the spy asked herself, "I couldn't pick someone with more personality." Ada didn't have anything against the female protagonist personally, but Jill Valentine was one of those people who was never seen taking a break. The woman was always thinking about work, and if not that, then it was something else that was on her mind. In short, she was a bit of a workaholic. Maybe she was restless, but Jill Valentine was anything but a couch potato.

Ada's attention snapped upward at the sound of the door opening. Jill had arrived.

"Ms. Valentine," the spy greeted as the woman sat down, "I've heard quite a bit about you."

Jill smiled. "I suppose being one of the core characters kinda makes a person famous," she said. Maybe the former policewoman DID have some individuality.

Ada nodded. "Indeed," the spy said, pulling out the file on Jill Valentine, "From what I've seen, you've done quite a number of games and movie deals for Capcom, but you're still fairly new to mercenaries. Interesting." Ada paused. "You also have a fair number of mini-games under your belt as well. I'm impressed." The spy closed the file and set it aside. "How do you feel about your chances?"

Jill straightened her gloves and made eye contact. "I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch, but I'd say I have a decent chance at scoring well," she said, "Is there anything else you'd like to ask me?"

Ada shook her head gently. All the agent's individuality had disappeared with her final statement. "No. That is all," the spy replied, "You may leave."

_Interview #3: Rebecca Chambers – Excella_

Excella stared at the young medic like a cat deciding on whether to eat the mouse in front of it. To say Rebecca was a little nervous was an understatement; she had heard much about Excella from Chris and Jill. The executive was a force to be reckoned with if she was in the right mood.

Excella tapped one manicured nail against the paper of Rebecca's file, catching the medic's attention. "Let's see," the villainess started, looking down the list of achievements, "You've done two installments, one of which you were the star of, and this is your second mercenaries career. Aside from that, you have yet to renew your contract." Excella shook her head in minor disapproval. "Not very impressive, I have to say. This will be your chance to redeem yourself, I imagine?"

A look of determination crossed Rebecca's face. "Of course," the medic said, "I can only get better!"

Excella glanced down at the list of questions she was supposed to ask the young medic. "How does it feel to be the youngest mercenary?" the executive asked.

Rebecca gulped. To be honest, it was a intimidating to be the youngest (and shortest) mercenary in the facility. But the medic wasn't going to admit THAT to the judge's face. "It's a little scary," Rebecca confessed, "But I'm confident in my skills."

"Tell me about some of your skills."

"I'm a very capable medic," Rebecca explained, "I was recruited straight out of school to join STARS."

Excella tapped one toe of her golden high heels expectantly. "And?" she questioned.

Rebecca remained silent. Being a medic was her only special skill, really. Her physical attacks weren't that great unless she used her taser, and even then she didn't like to use it unless it was necessary. "I'm fast on my feet," the medic tried, grasping at straws for something to say about herself, but the Tricell executive saw right through her act.

"So, you're nothing more than a one trick pony."

"Yes ma'am," Rebecca responded, shrinking into the metal chair.

"Very well," Excella stated, making a few notes in the medic's file, "You are dismissed."

_Interview #4: Claire Redfield –Excella_

Excella's second interviewee was not intimidated so easily. Claire didn't even flinch as the Tricell executive sized her up. "Ms. Redfield," Excella started, letting her accent glide over the name of the young woman in front of her, "I see you've only done full installments and movie deals. No mini-games, no mercenaries experience." Excella leaned forward in her seat. "Care to fill me in on the details?"

Claire sat stiffly with her eyes fixed on the woman on the other side of the desk. "I've done Resident Evil 2, and CODE: Veronica," the brunette stated, "Two of the movies were live action, and the third was a canonical installment called Degeneration. Need more details?"

"How willing are you to rise to a challenge?" Excella asked.

"I'm not the type of girl that backs down if that's what you're after," Claire replied, looking Excella dead in the eye, "As for my skill set, Jill and my brother taught me everything I know. Mostly learned from Chris, though."

Excella flipped through Claire's file, nodding at what she saw. "You are Chris Redfield's little sister," Excella stated, "I assume you two are close?"

"Very."

Excella gave a predatory smirk and folded her fingers together. "Mercenaries is not just a game, little girl," she warned, "Think you can handle it?"

Claire planned her retort carefully. "I've survived Raccoon City and fought my way out of prison. My skills will speak for themselves," Claire replied tersely. "I can hold my own just as well as my brother."

The Tricell executive smirked again. "We shall see. You are dismissed."

_Interview #5: HUNK – Leon_

After Claire and Excella finished, Leon sat down with HUNK. "Let's see," Leon said, "You have quite the record, 'Mr. Death'. Care to elaborate?"

HUNK replied to Leon's question, but his answers were rendered incomprehensible by his gas mask, leaving the agent puzzled. "Err, could you remove your mask?" Leon asked gingerly, "I'm having trouble understanding what you're trying to say." HUNK shook his head; nobody saw his real face, except for himself. "Okay then," Leon replied, "Good thing I know how to speak 'Muffled'." The government agent then turned around in his seat to face the fourth wall, specifically, the writer. "Any chance we can get this guy some subtitles?" Leon asked before turning back to the mercenary, "No offense, HUNK."

HUNK grunted in response as Leon opened up his file. "There's a lot of black censor bars and white-out marks in this record, but as far as I can tell, your introductory game was Resident Evil 2, same as mine. From there on, you've specifically done mini-games and already have Mercenaries experience," Leon stated. HUNK nodded in agreement. "Care to tell me more about one of these mini-games?"

HUNK began talking, even though his mask dampened his speech. Leon raised his eyebrows at HUNK's description and hand gestures. "Tofu, huh?" Leon stated, "That's the strangest costume I've seen." The government agent closed HUNK's file. "Alright. We're done here. Have a nice day." Once HUNK left the room, Leon turned to the fourth wall again. "I need a bathroom break," he requested, "Can we get Irving to substitute for a while?"

_Interview #6:Barry Burton –Irving_

"Let's see . . . Barry, Barry, Barry . . . " Irving muttered, irritated at being pulled in early, searching for the Ex-STARS member's file as the aforementioned character sat patiently in the chair, "Here we go!" Irving opened up the file. "So, Your only canon appearance was the original game, yet this is yer second Mercenaries tour," the weapons dealer said, flipping the file closed, "It sez here yer pretty popular in America. Wonder why that is?"

Barry shrugged his enormous shoulders under his red vest. "Fan bases are pretty confusing when they aren't based on appearance," he explained, "But Capcom did give out some ridiculous lines during the first game, so the cast and I just decided to ham it up. Even Jill and Wesker played up their lines. Apparently the fans responded to that."

Irving chewed on the end of his pen in boredom. "Anything else ah should know? Favorite food? Weapon of choice?" the sleazy man asked as his eyes roamed toward the door of the supply room. He just wanted to get the job done and get out of the storage room so the action could start quicker.

"Well," Barry replied, "I always like a good sandwich. And I usually keep a magnum on me at all times, until your boss made me turn it in at the door to this place." It was Barry's turn to gaze around the room in curiosity. "Speaking of which, what IS this place?"

"This is just a spare storage room I found. And I'm just as clueless as you are, buddy," Irving replied, "Dat's all I got for ya. Youse can go."

"Thanks," Barry said as he rose from the chair and proceeded to the door, "I think I'm gonna get myself a sandwich. All this waiting makes me hungry."

"Hey! I'd join youse, but I'm waitin' on another guest!" Irving shouted after Barry, "You go get yer sandwich, man! Save me some bacon!"

_Interview #7: Jack Krauser – Irving_

When Jack Krauser entered the tiny interview room, Irving nearly wet his pants. The mercenary was easily twice his size and looked like he could choke Irving with his biceps alone. The businessman caught himself staring at Krauser's scars several times as the mercenary sat down. "So Mister Krauser," Irving started, "hoo boy, what do I have to do to get some of what you're takin'?"

Krauser raised a scarred eyebrow in confusion. "What are you talking about?" he asked, slightly more annoyed than five seconds ago, thanks to the skinny man sitting behind the desk, "I thought this was about my background."

Irving nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it is," he said, "How'd you get yer biceps that large?"

"Training. Years and years of training," the mercenary replied.

"No shortcuts? Needles? Pills?"

Krauser shook his head. "No shortcuts."

"Right then. Hows about some business?" Irving said, sounding a little disappointed as he flipped open the file, "Sez 'ere you've only done one game, and a little spin-off story fer Darkside Chronicles. Wow. I also see a whole bunch of mini-game appearances."

"That's all true," Krauser replied.

Irving continued to read. "Judging from the titles of the mini-games, it sounds like you got trounced by Ada multiple times," he said, "Ouch. How did that feel?"

Krauser visibly stiffened. "I am never speaking about what happened in those mini-games again," he responded, turning his head away in embarrassment. Being beaten up by Leon was bad enough, but Krauser fought Ada Wong twice and STILL lost. "The last guy who asked got his head smashed."

"Okay big guy, " Irving agreed, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender, "Ah won't ask again."

After Krauser left, Irving turned to the fourth wall and shook his head. "He's still not over it," Irving whispered to the audience, pointing to the door with his thumb, "Poor guy."

_Interview #8: Albert Wesker - Leon _

"Albert Wesker," Leon started as he opened up the file that sat on the desk, "I've heard a lot about you." Leon read the first several lines of the resume that had been included. "You've got an impressive record here; in fact you're almost overqualified. This will be your third Mercenaries tour; you've been in quite a few games as well. And you have a very strong following of loyal fangirls-turned-test subjects. Tell me more about that."

Wesker's face remained emotionless as he spoke, "It comes with being the core villain of the franchise. The fangirls have their uses. How do you think Umbrella and Tricell were able to mass produce those BOWs?"

Leon hid a look of disgusted surprise and continued. "So, uhhh," the agent started, trying to find a different topic, "What do you think of the competition?"

Wesker smirked and suppressed a laugh. "They're no match for one who is destined to become a god."

Leon stared at Wesker with uncharacteristically wide eyes. "Okay then . . . " the agent said; Wesker was in fact, a bona-fide nutcase, and Leon didn't want to be in the same room with this man any more than was necessary. "I think we're done here. You can head back up now, good night." After Leon nervously said his final 'good-bye's to Wesker, the government agent leapt out of his seat at the desk and jumped through the hidden door in the wall. Wesker was Redfield's problem, not his.

The rest of the judges looked up from their seats as Leon entered the judges' booth, gasping for breath. "I just had to interview Albert Wesker!" the government agent claimed, "The guy's a psychopath! Or is he a 'sociopath'? I get those mixed up."

"Of course you do, Leon," Ada replied from her seat, "I got Jill. Would it kill her to take a vacation and enjoy herself? The woman's a workaholic." Ada leaned forward into her seat to speak to Excella and Irving. "Who did you get?"

"Ms. Redfield is very stubborn, to say the least," Excella stated, rubbing her forehead in anticipation of a headache, "Just like her brother. However," the executive brought her head up to make contact with Ada and Leon's eyes, "Rebecca Chambers does not stand a chance. She has the drive for Mercenaries, but is severely lacking in skills."

"Well, the whole point of this tournament is essentially a boot camp where everyone can train," Ada replied, "We're bound to see some improvement before Capcom hauls them away for another game." The spy turned to face Irving. "Who did you get?"

Irving shrugged his shoulders and propped his feet on the long judges' table. "Barry's a pretty nice guy, but Krauser- he's gotta be usin' somethin' to get biceps THAT big," the shady businessman said.

"I'm sure those are real, Irving," Ada replied, "I've worked with him for a very long time; the man keeps strict training habits."

Excella saw the opportunity to undermine her fellow judge. "And how would you know?" she asked.

"Wouldn't you like to find out?" Ada replied, laying on the sarcasm thickly before saying, "I'm a spy. It's my job to know things other people don't. Like the measurements of your chest before you decided to go under the knife."

"That was-!" Excella began to retort, only to be interrupted by Leon as he sat down.

"Ada, Excella, we actually need to move this tournament along. You two can have your catfight later. The viewers are waiting," Leon reminded the two women. "And Irving, get your shoes off the table. You're the reason we can't have nice things up here."

Irving removed his feet from the table and slouched back in his chair. "Well phooey," he grumbled under his breath.

The two women stared each other down for a few seconds before looking away. "Fine," they said in unison, albeit disgruntled.

Leon sighed in relief before turning to his left and facing Irving. "Aren't you glad we put them at opposite ends of the table?" he asked.

"Ditto, but it means we're stuck between them," Irving replied, switching his sitting position to lean forward and face the camera. "This segment's long enough! Next time, we prepare to send the mercenaries into the first fight of the tournament! Hit that 'Review' button down there, an' we'll keep ya posted!"

**AN: Do what Irving says! I love breaking the fourth wall! XD I've got more than enough subplots to work with in the coming chapters! Bye!**


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